Truth be told, I don't even know that doing this is a good idea. A lot of time has passed since we last interacted at all. As of now it’s November 8th, 2026, exactly 1:23am. I'm nervous writing this even though there's no one watching me. It almost feels like riding a bike again after not riding for a while.

I hope everything is going well with you, that aviation engineering isn't kicking your ass too much. First and foremost I miss you, very much. I understand a while ago you've made the decision to remove me on socials. I hope you don't resent me for anything, and know that I don't resent you at all, you have your reasons, you're a wise woman. "I miss you everyday". It sounded unbelievable when I said that at the movie theatre after maybe only 48 hours of us talking. As crazy as it might've sounded. It's been the case everyday since then and to this very moment.

We often speak about the terrible timing of our encounter, it's true that we may not be in the most desirable positions in life. Sometimes I find myself thinking about how different things would've been if we never met. Feels like I opened a door but it wasn't the time for me to do so. I do strongly believe that everything happens for a reason, that we were placed in each other's lives for a purpose, and who knows when it'll be fulfilled?

I'm not here to flatter you, but I've grown accustomed to your presence, your voice, your scent, your outlook on reality, your way of making said reality seem dark, your cruel, bold, direct but necessary way of telling the truth and the way that you would look into my eyes as you watched me digest that cruel truth. Almost like you're piercing my heart and slowly pushing down the knife with your eyes. The first night I saw you and you did it for the first time it gave me such a "beautiful" discomfort, like someone taking off the rose coloured glasses I used to look at life with, I think I just wasn't used to someone having such a direct outlook at things. I'll never stop marvelling at how brilliant you are, despite not even having uncovered one percent of you.

The further I get into writing this, it's hitting me that I may just be looking for the reassurance that someday we'll cross paths again, because we may not have known each other for long, we may not even know each other at all actually, but our bond... with all the languages I can speak, all the vocabulary I'm familiar with, all the knowledge I've amassed, I could never put it into words just how sacred our bond is. And my heart weeps in hopes that you feel the same.

My heart weeps in hopes that everything we said and everything we did wasn't just for nothing, that it wasn't all in vain, and that someday I'll truly get to know you, you'll truly get to know me, and we'll do things right and under the appropriate and desirable circumstances. I'll always hold onto the words you said, that you'll never get tired of hanging out with me.

I pray that God keeps you safe, I thank Him for allowing us to cross paths in the first place. I certainly hope it's not the last time. Thank you for all you've been for me, all you've done for me, you've comforted me in ways I could never verbally express the need for. Until next time.